Awash IC Inbox

[photoshooter]

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Screenshot: source

Comments

[retrobeats]

HAHA i'm glad you're as hype about this stupid chainmail as i am, i honestly ALMOST died

[photoshooter]

dude dude i have one absolutely burning question about this thing

wth is a goose?????????????

[retrobeats]

oh my GOD eos doesn't have geese???
tbh that's probably for the best they're super bad tempered birds
like they live next to lakes and make this really obnoxious honking noise and have beef with everyone that comes within a 10ft radius
earth geese don't breathe fire but Minato's saying the weird mutant ones here do?

[photoshooter]

uhhh how big are they?

[retrobeats]

god idk i've never gotten close enough, i value my life
like butt height? with like 6ft wingspans or something

[photoshooter]

man. it's always really weird how small everybody else's wildlife is. they can't be THAT dangerous, dude.

[retrobeats]

they're at exactly the right height to bite off your dick that makes them PLENTY dangerous

[photoshooter]

omg do they do that???? ∑(; ꒪Д꒪)

[retrobeats]

tbh i have no idea but i still wouldn't wanna risk it
i've heard people say they can break your arm tho

[photoshooter]

well yeah birds are a lot stronger than they look. but they're not hunting birds?? the money goose doesn't look like a bird of prey.

[retrobeats]

nah they're not birds of prey
just really ornery and think that everything the light touches is their kingdom

[photoshooter]

so they DON'T eat people.

[retrobeats]

omg no way!! man-eating geese would be honestly horrifying
why is THAT the first place your mind went to, does everything on eos want to chow down on human flesh??

[ so sayeth the guy who literally just said geese are at the right height to seperate a dude from his manhood. ]

[photoshooter]

not EVERYthing, but a lot of things???? and even the things that won't eat you are mostly not to be messed with. spiracorns are vegetarians but they'll fuck you UP.

[retrobeats]

YIKES. that's fair
i mean dgmw earth's got a lot of stuff like that too??
like sharks don't actually eat people but they'll take a bite of you if they think you're a seal
and there's tons of stories of hippos being "would kill multiple people in horrible ways" levels of aggro even tho they're herbivores
but you don't really get those hanging around new jersey

[photoshooter]

does new jersey have a wall to keep them out or something?

[retrobeats]

omg
no but if we did have a wall it'd totally be there to keep folks from jersey from getting OUT lmao

[ michael please take this seriously ]

[photoshooter]

????????????

why???

[retrobeats]

lmao sorry that was just a lil NJ humor!
so half the people i have ever spoken to can't wait to leave and also everyone else loves to drag us at every opportunity
jersey jokes are a dime a dozen?? but i saw an opening and i took it

so was there any reason why a wall was the first place your mind went to?

[photoshooter]

oh. yeah we had a wall to keep out all the dangerous crap like voreteeth and daemons, so i was wondering if you guys did, too.

[retrobeats]

ummmmm ok i'm gonna ask you to back up a sec
daemons???????

[photoshooter]

you know, like awful mutated darkness monsters spawned from our worst nightmares and also probably hell??
i've seen people spell it without the a.

[retrobeats]

you are NOT seriously telling me hell is a literal place that exists for you right now

[photoshooter]

idk i'm not religious or anything. daemons are real tho! i've killed a lot of them!!

[retrobeats]

holy crap.
that is one of THE most hardcore things i have ever heard and also i would not last 5 minutes on your planet.