Awash IC Inbox

[photoshooter]

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Comments

[photoshooter]

man. it's always really weird how small everybody else's wildlife is. they can't be THAT dangerous, dude.

[retrobeats]

they're at exactly the right height to bite off your dick that makes them PLENTY dangerous

[photoshooter]

omg do they do that???? ∑(; ꒪Д꒪)

[retrobeats]

tbh i have no idea but i still wouldn't wanna risk it
i've heard people say they can break your arm tho

[photoshooter]

well yeah birds are a lot stronger than they look. but they're not hunting birds?? the money goose doesn't look like a bird of prey.

[retrobeats]

nah they're not birds of prey
just really ornery and think that everything the light touches is their kingdom

[photoshooter]

so they DON'T eat people.

[retrobeats]

omg no way!! man-eating geese would be honestly horrifying
why is THAT the first place your mind went to, does everything on eos want to chow down on human flesh??

[ so sayeth the guy who literally just said geese are at the right height to seperate a dude from his manhood. ]

[photoshooter]

not EVERYthing, but a lot of things???? and even the things that won't eat you are mostly not to be messed with. spiracorns are vegetarians but they'll fuck you UP.

[retrobeats]

YIKES. that's fair
i mean dgmw earth's got a lot of stuff like that too??
like sharks don't actually eat people but they'll take a bite of you if they think you're a seal
and there's tons of stories of hippos being "would kill multiple people in horrible ways" levels of aggro even tho they're herbivores
but you don't really get those hanging around new jersey

[photoshooter]

does new jersey have a wall to keep them out or something?

[retrobeats]

omg
no but if we did have a wall it'd totally be there to keep folks from jersey from getting OUT lmao

[ michael please take this seriously ]

[photoshooter]

????????????

why???

[retrobeats]

lmao sorry that was just a lil NJ humor!
so half the people i have ever spoken to can't wait to leave and also everyone else loves to drag us at every opportunity
jersey jokes are a dime a dozen?? but i saw an opening and i took it

so was there any reason why a wall was the first place your mind went to?

[photoshooter]

oh. yeah we had a wall to keep out all the dangerous crap like voreteeth and daemons, so i was wondering if you guys did, too.

[retrobeats]

ummmmm ok i'm gonna ask you to back up a sec
daemons???????

[photoshooter]

you know, like awful mutated darkness monsters spawned from our worst nightmares and also probably hell??
i've seen people spell it without the a.

[retrobeats]

you are NOT seriously telling me hell is a literal place that exists for you right now

[photoshooter]

idk i'm not religious or anything. daemons are real tho! i've killed a lot of them!!

[retrobeats]

holy crap.
that is one of THE most hardcore things i have ever heard and also i would not last 5 minutes on your planet.

[photoshooter]

i was about to tell you you'd be fine as long as you were in insomnia behind the wall.

but i forgot the wall's gone. soooooooo yeah if you're as normal as i used to be then for sure you'd be 100% toast, dude, sorry.

[retrobeats]

eh. evolution's survival of the fittest which i am totally not, so i'm not shocked.

............. i'm also like. sensing this whole novel's worth of backstory here?
which you totally don't have to talk about if you don't wanna cause it sounds like the worst kind of backstory but i also didn't wanna ignore the super obvious elephant in the inbox.

[photoshooter]

[Wait for it.]

what's an elephant?