i know. i'm sorry. i never wanted to freak you guys out like that.
[The sound of typing from his side of the room continues, hesitant and jerky, full of stops and then rapid backspacing. It's a full minute before he manages to get anything else out.]
i think running was a mistake. and i'm sorry. i should know better by now.
I can't honestly say I wouldn't have done the same thing. Or done worse. Noct hit a crisis point last month and disappeared into the woods for days, and we all understood the impulse then, too.
I was more afraid for you from the way you came back. Not from the way you ran to begin with.
[Prompto shoots Ignis a strange, uncertain glance over his shoulder, then sits with his fingers motionless on the keys for a while.]
well and sort of a sick inhuman monster in general, yeah?? that too. all of the above i guess.
except......
even i can't imagine myself as a threat to noct. like the words just don't make sense. i just.........someone else could use me to get to him. or hurt him through me. but never *me*, i could never hurt him.
so it's less i was scared of what i could do to him than......i couldn't stand what i already did. you know? that look on his face when he looks at you and he's in pain and it's all for you. not of but *for*, you know?? even though he's the one hurting so much!! i can't deal with that, i HATE it, it isn't fair!!!! but she still shouldn't have TAKEN it!!
[Prompto freezes then, caught between guilt and betrayal and shame. And something else. Not... not gratitude. Something too complicated to name.]
i want to ask her why. i want to see her but she isn't here.
Perhaps she's afraid of how you'll look at her. And it wouldn't be the first time the two of you have suffered from a breakdown in communication, would it?
Have you spoken to Noct to sort out his end of things, as well?
[He doesn't seem altogether surprised at the shift from text messages to speaking to each other. Almost like he was waiting to see how long it would take, before they slipped from one to the other.]
[Still face-down on the table, he pulls his arms in and wraps them around himself, then finally steels himself with a deep breath and picks his chin up.]
Because Noct is here, and I think... I think it's been a long time since anyone came for her. And I'm worried that...
[He looks away, deriving his own Prompto set of calculations from the corner of wall and wall, then nods to himself.]
I'm worried that she could do what I did, if no one does.
[That's the difference between them. Noctis came for Prompto in the darkness. He put the ring on to fight his way through.
No one came for Summer.]
I want her to come home. Then I can figure out... the other stuff.
[He breathes in again when Ignis's palm rests against his back, then exhales. It's warm. It helps. After these long, colorless days, his heart aches with how deeply he feels for everyone. How grateful he still is, even if disaster was the thanks they got.]
Well... I dunno. Maybe not.
[He unknots a little, pulling absently at the bracelet on his left wrist.]
But yeah. I mean... if I were her, I'd be scared of you guys. [He looks up, eyebrows raised in mock innocence, despite the anxiety he still feels.] No offense.
None taken. With the way you looked when you first came home after all that business...
[He pauses a moment, like he's considering his feelings one by one and fitting them together into the words that he uses, as finnicky as a chef choosing seasonings.]
It was sensible of her, to assess us as possible dangers to her. Or to assess me that way, at least.
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Date: 2018-11-18 10:24 pm (UTC)[After he, y'know, got woozy and rolled it trying to keep on keepin' on in the middle of being sick, like the genius he is.]
We were both worried about you, you know. I still am, a bit. I suppose that's part of why I wanted to check in.
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Date: 2018-11-18 10:38 pm (UTC)[The sound of typing from his side of the room continues, hesitant and jerky, full of stops and then rapid backspacing. It's a full minute before he manages to get anything else out.]
i think running was a mistake. and i'm sorry. i should know better by now.
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Date: 2018-11-18 10:43 pm (UTC)I was more afraid for you from the way you came back. Not from the way you ran to begin with.
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Date: 2018-11-18 10:44 pm (UTC)she was just trying to help me.
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Date: 2018-11-18 10:46 pm (UTC)I was hoping you might tell me, so that I can understand.
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Date: 2018-11-18 10:52 pm (UTC)noct tell you that i
gakve him the starscourge? bc of the quest?
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Date: 2018-11-18 10:55 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2018-11-18 11:09 pm (UTC)a bomb went off in my brain, or something. and i couldn't
i haven't hated myself that much in a while now. like...not with that kind of hate.
cw: self harm | gonna slap that on just to be safe
Date: 2018-11-18 11:17 pm (UTC)cw: self harm for realsies
Date: 2018-11-18 11:37 pm (UTC)i have before. she wasn't there so there's no way she'd know i could, but. just once i did.
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Date: 2018-11-18 11:43 pm (UTC)When did you? Was it before you met Noct?
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Date: 2018-11-18 11:49 pm (UTC)i think that's the only other time i felt as bad as i felt last week.
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Date: 2018-11-18 11:51 pm (UTC)Because in both instances, you thought you were a threat to Noct.
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Date: 2018-11-19 02:51 am (UTC)well and sort of a sick inhuman monster in general, yeah?? that too. all of the above i guess.
except......
even i can't imagine myself as a threat to noct. like the words just don't make sense. i just.........someone else could use me to get to him. or hurt him through me. but never *me*, i could never hurt him.
so it's less i was scared of what i could do to him than......i couldn't stand what i already did. you know? that look on his face when he looks at you and he's in pain and it's all for you. not of but *for*, you know?? even though he's the one hurting so much!! i can't deal with that, i HATE it, it isn't fair!!!! but she still shouldn't have TAKEN it!!
[Prompto freezes then, caught between guilt and betrayal and shame. And something else. Not... not gratitude. Something too complicated to name.]
i want to ask her why. i want to see her but she isn't here.
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Date: 2018-11-19 03:04 am (UTC)Have you spoken to Noct to sort out his end of things, as well?
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Date: 2018-11-19 03:10 am (UTC)not since i got all my colors back, no. i guess i need to apologize, huh?
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Date: 2018-11-19 03:15 am (UTC)He's not going to hold what happened against you. If anything, he's going to be upset that what happened upset you, because of him.
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Date: 2018-11-19 03:33 am (UTC)[Prompto groans aloud and slides further down the table.]
It's like I was on pause for a week but the game kept going without me. How am I supposed to fix all this, Ignis?
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Date: 2018-11-19 03:39 am (UTC)[He doesn't seem altogether surprised at the shift from text messages to speaking to each other. Almost like he was waiting to see how long it would take, before they slipped from one to the other.]
Which problem do you want to try to solve first?
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Date: 2018-11-19 01:31 pm (UTC)[Still face-down on the table, he pulls his arms in and wraps them around himself, then finally steels himself with a deep breath and picks his chin up.]
Because Noct is here, and I think... I think it's been a long time since anyone came for her. And I'm worried that...
[He looks away, deriving his own Prompto set of calculations from the corner of wall and wall, then nods to himself.]
I'm worried that she could do what I did, if no one does.
[That's the difference between them. Noctis came for Prompto in the darkness. He put the ring on to fight his way through.
No one came for Summer.]
I want her to come home. Then I can figure out... the other stuff.
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Date: 2018-11-19 01:57 pm (UTC)[He's setting his laptop aside, coming over to rest a supportive hand on Prompto's back as he leans against the table near him.]
But I don't know that the rest of us will be much help in your quest to seek an errant witch. You seem to know her better than anyone.
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Date: 2018-11-19 02:19 pm (UTC)Well... I dunno. Maybe not.
[He unknots a little, pulling absently at the bracelet on his left wrist.]
But yeah. I mean... if I were her, I'd be scared of you guys. [He looks up, eyebrows raised in mock innocence, despite the anxiety he still feels.] No offense.
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Date: 2018-11-19 02:52 pm (UTC)[He pauses a moment, like he's considering his feelings one by one and fitting them together into the words that he uses, as finnicky as a chef choosing seasonings.]
It was sensible of her, to assess us as possible dangers to her. Or to assess me that way, at least.
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Date: 2018-11-19 02:56 pm (UTC)[Prompto leans back more loosely in his seat and smiles wanly.]
Have you ever seen Noct when he's mad? Like, seriously, coming-at-you-sword-ways murder-death mad?
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Date: 2018-11-19 03:00 pm (UTC)[He shrugs slightly.]
I can, however, speak for what I would've done, and it wouldn't have been pleasant. Not when it's about you getting hurt.
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